Yes, anyone should have the ability to go to college — so long as we find you sufficiently entertaining.
In retrospect maybe Andrew Stanton should have resisted the urge to give a smarmy, arrogant TED talk about storytelling — you know, just in case his first live-action movie turned out to be the biggest flop of all time.
I guarantee you that the guy on the left has spent the last few days in silent agony, wondering, “do I beat my girlfriend enough?”
I got into an elevator today, but I couldn’t hit the button for my floor because a young mother was blocking the panel by holding up her child as it futilely poked at the button.
“You got it this time, honey!” She would say after each failed attempt. “Hit it again!”
Maybe this flies in the face of modern parenting techniques, but if my four-year-old can’t successfully hit the elevator button after three tries and there’s someone waiting behind me, I’m probably gonna say, “Okay, honey, you’re done. You had your chance and you choked.”
It always baffles me when I see one of these still hanging up:
I hate to be the one to say this, but: guys, Vietnam ended 35 years ago. At this point M.I.A. stands for, “we can’t find the body but they’re probably dead.”